i think my tv is drunk
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
