KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
