Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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