im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
