I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
