for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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