Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
