her vagine was all disorganized.
Say something about gay babies.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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