Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
