I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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