Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
