It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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