Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
