I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
