Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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