i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
