Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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