My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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