I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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