Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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