Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
