And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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