Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What a dumb baby whore.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
