OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
