He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
