If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize