I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
