what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How does it feel to date your dad?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
