this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
