don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
