We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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