I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
