I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
