apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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