the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
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