youre lurking in front of me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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