Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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