Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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