My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
