The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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