i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
