Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
