wakey wakey hands off snakey
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
