Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
