there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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