so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last