Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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