I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
