I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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