dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Moan for me like Helen Keller
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
