i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
