My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
