every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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