4 words: hood of his car
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
