who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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