I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
