I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
