You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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