I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
