dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just blew my weed a kiss
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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