Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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